Saturday, February 15, 2003

12:15 AM

I hate v-day i hate v-day
today, a hey hey
a boom bah bees , singa doe ray me's
cause i hate v-day
a may lay

I hate this day of valentines with a pasion that only the devil herself knows.
This is day that reminds the loney how alone they are.
It reminds me that another year has gone by and i still dont have anyone.
this are things i know.
I know them cause i live them. I want something but i cant have it.
love is beyond my grasp at the present time.
I have semi-love, half hearted flirting.
people that like me, but not in "that" way
and 364 days a year i know this.
on one day a year, the nation at large reminds me of this.
I have a crappy memory.
But belive me, i know what i have and what i dont, in the love department.
its late, i am tired. and i am feeling sorry for myself.
time to sign off.


Thursday, February 13, 2003

1:57 PM

Daredevil a review by a fan of the comic
The first movie based on the Marvel Comic “Daredevil” comes out tomorrow. I happen to have seen it last night. Currently, I am fighting the urge to nap. I have to get this review out now and then edit it later. Be warned, I am not planning to have any spoilers in this, just basic info, but one or two minor plot points might make their way in

But, general thoughts: If you did not like previous comic book movies such as X-Men and Spider-man, this flick is not for you. This was a good comic book film, nice and dark. It had flaws, of course what action flick doesn’t, but this was truer to the sprit of Daredevil than say the first Batman flick was. The special effects were good, the fact that a lot of the CGI effects took place at night and where poorly lit, helped them look more realistic. The fight scenes are so quick you almost think your missing something. Daredevil is definitely the star of this film. The villains are just sorta there. The main story is the relationship of Matt Murdock and Electra with Daredevil’s origin thrown in. Michael Clarke Duncan is very imposing as the Kingpin. But not in a cheesy villain way. More of an “I am a ruthless killer, but I don’t act like it until I have to.” But this story is the set up of the DD/ Kingpin war, remember that. The story should be easy to recognize to long time DD readers. This movie was very dark, so dark that I think the PG-13 rating must have came CLOSE to being an R.

The Good- Ben Affleck and the guy that plays Foggy Nelson have buddy chemistry. Foggy lightens the mood but in a welcomed funny way not a groan worthy way. The guy that plays Ben Urich is awesome. Pure reporter looking for the story, both Daredevil and the Kingpin. Matt Murdock might have the super senses, but he lives like a blind man. Small plastic containers with brail on them tell him what denominations his money is in. And he folds the bills differently so he can tell the difference in his wallet. They kept this up the whole film, things in the office and such to remind you that to the world at large, Matt’s blind. Thumbs up to them. Daredevil looks scary, good enough to strike terror in the hearts of evildoers. The helmet makes his head look all freaky. The costume looks better on screen than in the posters. The radar sense and super senses are very cool. Blue on black trails. The general story was good and most of the characters fit the comic.

The Bad- Bullseye is way over the top and not in character with the comic book version. The real Bullseyes would NEVER offer to kill anyone for free, much less Daredevil. The phase, “YOU MADE ME MISS!” is the pissed off line for this character in the movie. It made me and others with me laugh. But since Bullseye is a psychopathic killer maybe they wanted to ton down the murder with corniness, its only ok cause he is the only super corny character. Daredevils stick has WAY to much rope in it. Like 5 miles of it in a 3 feet stick. All so, the sticks can fold out and have grappling hooks in them. IN A THREE FOOT LONG STICK! The comic itself also has this problem, so that’s ok. They Spider-Maned Daredevil. They gave him powers that he does not have, but Spidey does. Such as the ability to jump from really high up and land safely. Its like twice in the flick or something, but it just pulls you out of the movie. Daredevil is a dude with superhuman senses. He does not have super strength or bones that can take high falls.

All in all Thumbs up, go see it if you liked X-men or Spider-man
Yawns, stupid 4 o clock movies.


Tuesday, February 11, 2003

10:35 PM

True Conversations with Lu, be warned: It starts with crime and ends on teeth
Lu: we cant have normal murders here
Lu: its all hog tied and naked
MangoDuck: sounds like there's some bored people over there
Lu: thinking up ways to kill
Lu: we need clubs
MangoDuck: yep, clubs?
Lu: to sell teeth in
Lu: thats what you do at clubs, right?
MangoDuck: sell teeth?
Lu: yeah
Lu: cause in clubs they get knocked out so you have to sell new ones
MangoDuck: oh
MangoDuck: i see
MangoDuck: you mean like a dance club where people party at?
MangoDuck: or..
Lu: dance club
MangoDuck: ok
MangoDuck: i'm trying to think about too many things
Lu: strip club?
MangoDuck: huh?
MangoDuck: this is like some dream where nothing makes sense

Hello out there in reading land, just wanted to pass on that I am in fact seeing Daredevil soon and expect a review here as soon as I do.

My job has this new company policy that I think is utter crap.
The customer is always right.
We will have to wear buttons to this effect. And we have to smile and make eye contact with each and every customer.
What the hell is wrong with upper management that they think this actually does anything?
Number one: the customer already assumes the customer is always right. They don’t need this reinforced. Customers treat people in retail and any other minimum wage job like dirt. That is most people. They don’t listen to the people that serve them and think that if you have a name tag, you are mentally challenged in some way and should be talked to really slowly and loud, That or mumble at the person getting your food and yell when its not right.
Proof Customers don’t listen.

Mumbles the Customer (to self) its so cold in that theater that I have to come out here and get something to eat that’s warm –laughs to self-

Cashier- It’s cold? Which theater are you in? (Each movie house has a different heating and cooling system)

Mumbles the Customer- Small Popcorn with Butter.

See? Customers are not really aware that the Employees are there. I swear that most customers think that magic elves run the store. Heck, they pull on the doors to get in when there is only one car in the parking lot and I am in it.

Number deuce- Smiling and eye contact sounds good on paper, but works like crap in the real world where I live. Most people go to the movies on dates. Myself, as a male, could get in trouble if I start smiling with eye contact at someone’s date. And how do you fake smile and it not be creepy? I am at work, not trying to pick up women and be super friendly. I am more reserved that that. I try to be attentive and fast, nice and efficient. That’s all I can be for 6 bucks and hour and a line I have to keep moving so that no one person stands in line longer that 4 minutes. That cant be done when I have to treat the customer like we are long lost friends or something. I HATE when the waiter guy acts like we are old pals. I don’t like pretend friendship and I figure most people don’t like it either.
I like working where I work I guess, free movies, good people (most of them anyway) and its flexible around my schooling. But sometimes I worry about people that are paid a lot more than I am, and they don’t really think about how things go in the real world.
And now something different than that noise, a girl told me I look like a cartoon today. She looked right at me and said I looked like a cartoon. I was taken aback. As I guess anyone should be. She then said I look like Silent Bob. As in Kevin Smith. Alright, I guess I can see it. I am a tall, big guy with long hair and a goatee. I even did the “jedi mind trick” thing for a laugh. But then I realized that she called me fat and funny looking in so many words. And she was all pretty and stuff so that was a :sigh: moment. She gave me a lot of toostie rolls though.
Toostie Rolls, the candy that thinks its rubber cement. Whats the appeal of a candy that is WORK to eat? Candy is supposed to be fun and tee hee. Not chew chew chew until your jaw wants to fall off. That’s no Tee Hee moment.


Monday, February 10, 2003

11:14 PM

the post below was written on no sleep and me needing to get a post out today be warned



11:06 PM

And now a Review:
Of the soon to be released movie old school. Staring Vince Vaugan, Will Ferrel and one of the Wilson brothers not Owen…the other one.

This movie has nekid people in it. Some good naked some bad naked. Bad Naked- Will Ferrel I have seen way too much of this man. More than any human being that is not sleeping with/ doctoring him should.
Good Naked- well I guess they were supposed to be good naked young co-eds (my age) being naked for no reason other than the male drooling response. Their breasts scared me. It especially scared me that the guy I was seeing the film with said that “My girlfriend’s chest looks JUST like the one on the left” Dude, I don’t want to know about the breasts you have been given access to. That’s your omega level security clearance and for your eyes only for the duration of your relationship with your girlfriend.
This has nothing to do with me not having a girlfriend and everything to do with basic male conduct. Don’t share sexual exploits to brag or to compare notes. This sorta thing makes all men to be the pigs some women think we are. We alone can stop this. We don’t need to hear about sexual matters unless they are informative or funny. Do not use the names of the women involved especially if your friend is going to see this girl again. It will end in tears, I promise you that. His eyes will be drawn to stare at her breasts like a magnet to a fridge. Unless you want this crap, when you talk about sex, no names. Use general terms. No specifics.
Sorry, where was I. OH right Old School. Well the Wilson guy Mitch, comes home from a business trip early and the preview trailer ensues. And I am not making that up. The first twenty minutes of the flick is a slightly longer version of the trailer. Just with all the non-funny stuff in it. Scenes go on where they should stop. And characters show up, are never given a reason for being and disappear for no reason given in the story. Craig Kilborne is in the movie, of the late late show. He is just there being evil. Why? I am not sure even he knows. It looks like someone drugged or threatened him until he showed up and read the lines at the camera. He is not funny, but then again, is he ever? There are plotlines that just happen and then go away.
The movie seemed like it was just a bunch of people sitting around thinking “wouldn’t it be cool if….”, and then filling the rest up with crap. We can get Snoop Dog to sing for this bunch of kids! And then shot of Will Ferrel’s horrible ass. GOLDEN!
This is the plot of the movie: Man’s girlfriend is a big sex fiend. He does not know it. He comes home and a sex show is going on. He freaks out and breaks up with the girl. Why does he work it out? No reason other than he just doesn’t like sex fiends. He gets a house cheap cause a professor died. How does him getting a house important? Cause the dean of the school is god and can rezone the city. Even though there is no reason the local University would want an old building in a suburb no where near the school with other houses around it. Its important to the plot of Old School so it happens. The Dean hates them and dresses like an old man, even though he is about 30 and does not act like an old man. And Deans are not 30 years old. They are about 50 bald and look like educators. This actor (who I have liked in other films) was miss cast. Miss cast so badly that it shocks you out of the movie. Every time he shows up you want to scream that they should have gotten an older actor for the role. It would make sense that an older actor would not like 30ish men partying with the kids. At some a point in your life you are no longer “with it”. It’s a fact. You stop being cool and start being the complainers. BUT, when the leads are “with it” and older or the same age as “the old man dean” it is just about as stupid as making pants out of steak.
All right the Mitch guys falls for Craig Kilborne’s girlfriend when he realizes that she had a crush on him in high school. Craig Kilborne is an ass and cheats on the girl and then tells the girl friend that Mitch was the one that was trying to have sex with the girl. Yeah I now, this does not make sense, SHUT UP ITS NOT ME! The girl believes him, and does not cheat on Craig with Mitch. Later she catches him red handed (or so we assume, cause we never SEE IT we have to take her word on it) and she gets with Mitch.
Dean tries to kick them out of their house. They fight back with a stupid test that you know the Dean cheats on. And then they win out in the end.
Oh and Craig Kilborne and the Dean get violently killed at the end on the movie in a fire filled car crash.
YIPPE! And 82-year-old men die when they see two pairs of breasts at the same time and then they get to play piano in heaven.
This cast is filled with semi famous people from the Daily Show and people that used to be more famous than they are now.
If this is the kind of movie you would pay to see, I want get together with you and sell some nice lunar property to ya. Its ok for a rental if you want something stupid. But this movie is put together with scotch tape. Be warned.


Sunday, February 09, 2003

7:31 PM

Freak Week
Well, the Maiden de Madcap and myself partook of a medieval feast in a garage. She looked rather stunning in an en flowered hair ornament and nice really really fancy nice dress. I took pictures, as did she, so it’s a race to see which account of the evening comes out first. Maddy came all the way to Athens, Alabama from Tennessee and think this means she not only rocks, but I owe her. I tried to pay her back by taking her to the movies, Lord of the Rings (her choice I might add) and the stupid movie place had no late show of it. So we saw the equally full of little hairy footed people, cinema masterpiece, How to lose a guy in 10 Days. Well it has Kate Hudson in it, making faces like the dickens. Which in and off its self is worth something. She has this quality about her that makes you want to like her. In that respect, she is like a puppy, infant or Walter Mondale. It was an ok movie, but as Maddy said it kinda fell apart at the end. For this kinda film to work, you need the get together part the breaking up part and the getting back together if you want a happy ending. This happy ending felt forced and too easy.
So to sum up, Madcap Maiden is a wonderful person, very interesting and funny, and I take people like that to romantic comedies. She is also adorable and very good at eating chicken without a fork. Also, she said I have pretty nails, which makes her the 20th woman to say that to me.
There was this big fight thing at my house last week, baddest all around. To that end, my sister moved out.
Well my parents, in a move worthy of a lifetime movie, called her and begged her to come back. To ‘sweeten the pot” they told my sister they are getting a dog. Not just any dog, but a big black lab that’s only two years old. The catch? It’s an ex-drug smelling dog.
That’s right, my sister that has partook of the doobage is going to have a drug dog in the house now. The dog’s name is Satan by the way. Can you imagine calling a giant black dog to you named Satan? I have to get a jacket with 666 on it now. Well a two-year-old drug dog is still a young drug dog, so why retire him? They are getting a new model with more extras, attack, search, and drugs. So, in other words. Satan got downsized. Times are hard all over.
Today I went to a chocolate festival. Really. It was in the local mall and a interesting view of another way of life. The culture of the chocolate fiend is an interesting one. Full of sweetness and regret, the chocholic is faced with love in a cake or pastry. The “Alabama Blues Brothers” were the choice entertainment. And yeah, it’s a cover band of the Blue Brothers complete with the fat guy and the skinny guy in the outfits. I don’t know if that’s totally legal. If I took someone else’s act and added Alabama to it, would that make it a different thing completely? Could I bill myself as Alabama’s Andy Kaufman and reuse all of Andy’s old bits? These cats even have CD’s for sale and have the old police car. They do this for a living, or at the very least, a part time job.
I also had a free dinner tonight at Princetons. It was very nice, and since it was free, it was even better. God Bless you trading out services for other services. We traded movie passes for food. The only way the barter system still works. I took the picture of a friend of mine that hates cameras. I had to do it covert like, and looking at her with the cam out in my hand. I might just have a shot of her chest though. Its my fear, just to have a picture of breasts and her neck .
That was my weekend, expect a review or something tomorrow.





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