Saturday, February 22, 2003
Wow, its been awhile since i last posted. Sorry about that. Busy Busy Busy things. Midterms are up and coming and that makes my time more in the way of fastness. That and yesterday just kicked my ass. In a good hanging out with friends way.
So without further ado. A review of the movie Dark Blue. Or the new Kurt Russell movie that no one has heard about. This movie takes place in LA right before the riots that erupted from the Rodney King beating case. Kurt Russell plays a racist evil lying in this movie. His partner is wanting to please Kurt Russell and be a racist lying evil cop, but still wants to hang on to his soul. His boss is a racist lying evil cop. And there are only two characters that are even remotely likable. You would think that this movie took place in the stereotypical south with all the blatant racism going on. Kurt Russell realizes that its bad to be a racist lying evil cop after his partner gets shot and he gets dumps by his wife.
Lets ignore the fact that most of the characters in this movie are so evil that you want them all to die. Lets ignore that the only character you think could "see the light" dies before the movie is out. Lets ignore the fact this movie made me, a white male, hate white people after seeing it. Thats not the issue.
THIS MOVIE HAD NOT @#$%&ing PURPOSE!
It was a made for TV movie, on the big screen. The characters exist as mere stereotypes. The over the top racist. Most forms of racism I have encountered have been more subtle. And subtle racism is far more dangerous i think, cause its easier to ignore.
The one (or two) good cops with the tarnished armour. The two good cops in this movie had an affair 5 years before, and the wife of one of them finds out(cause of the boss bad cop's J. Edgar Hooverish files on everyone). Finds out and runs around in a bra and half slip for no real reason other than sex appeal.
The "we are so evil" bad guys. The bad guys that you want to be beaten to death. They kill without reason in the opening scene. While robing a store they shoot and kill everyone in the store, everyone coming into the store and the person walking outside in front of the store. Why could they have just tied up the clerk? They were wearing ski masks and gloves, they even got the security tape. They have to pile the bodies up to keep the walk way clear. They dont lock the door to prevent customers from getting into the store. They just kill kill kill. Why? Cause they are evil, thats what they do.
Kurt Russell drank a lot in this movie. In fact, just about every single character in this film drank their own weight in alcohol at least once. They go to investigate the murders, they get a free drink from the owner of the store. They go back to Police HQ they drink some more. They go to their boss to tell him what evil things they have been doing, he gives them a drink. What to drink with dinner? More alcohol.
LA is full of drunks. Thats what I learned from this movie.
Also, this film has a scene in a strip club. And the striper is the most unsexy woman I have ever seen. Its not that she is not pretty she just sorta was there.Her dancing is more like pacing slightly in time with music. She does not look like she is trying to be attractive. She looks bored. She takes off her bra after a little scene of her pacing, and gets it tangled in her hair and spends a couple of minutes working that out. Yeah, that about as attractive as reading the phone book out loud.
Actually, that might be more interesting. She might come across a tongue twister of a last name.
All long vowels and consonants.
I hate this movie. And I hate Kurt Russell. If I ever see the famous Captain Ron in public again, I am making him give me ten bucks for having seen this flick.
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Well after blogger being werid, i am back!
Let me tell you a secret that you should already know. Sometimes you break up with people you are dating. Sometimes the person you love become the person you hate. This new person, knows all the things that you love. They know your weaknesses. They have a well mapped plan of your under belly, your missing scale, your Achilles heal.
And they hate you enough to strike out at it. When you open up to someone, they know where your weak and well as strong.
Thats why you should follow my rules for relationships:
1- Don't write anything down that you would not want the baby Jesus and or deity of your choosing to read
2- Don't take any pictures of a sexual or embarrassing manner unless you are comfortable with everyone you know seeing them. If your a nudist or something, your lucky and more than likely really ugly. Put some clothes on, your scaring away the hot nudists.
3- Be able to deny even knowing this person, just incase they go insane and claim you made them talk to the ghost of Nixon nightly about his dog Checkers.
With the invention of digital cameras and Polaroid, people can take pictures of themselves doing the darnest things. Couples (or singles for that matter) now believe they can safely document their sexual lives without the One Hour Photo guy getting a peek in their bedrooms. Take that Robin Williams!
However they fail to think that the person that has the pictures of them in the monkey outfit spanking a midget might not love them as long as the pictures exist.
And pictures can last along time. We still know that Henry the 8th was a fat bastard and Michael Jackson used to look like a human being.
Pictures don't lie. The show, they tell, for all time one moment of life that they capture. Unless you destroy all the copies, once taken the picture will always be there.
And sometimes, when you leave someone they strike back at you.
Search Google some time or KaaZa. Put the words "Ex-Girlfriend " in the subject line.
Do this on your own computer for the love of god people.
I bet you will find a lot of pictures that love took and hate put on the Internet. With Digital Cameras, comes computers that can put them on the net.
The Private becomes the Public.
Does this suck for these women or men?
Yeah, I would not want my naked self for all the world to see.
But, its pretty much legal.
Representative Mark Green, R-Wisconsin, is trying to change that. Green has introduced legislation into Congress that would make posting pictures of a naughty nature without asking the person you took them of permission illegal. I guess you can hear the Girls Gone Wild guy quaking in his sleazy boots right now.
My question is, do we need this law?
At some point, consent was given with the pictures this law refers to. Then, do they become property of the one that owns them?
To do with as he pleases?
Does the law need to protect us from our fancies? Our wild nights?
To protect something that was meant one way, but used in another?
I think to all those out there, with the eye for the taking of the naked pictures.
Think of it as Playboy. Yeah, maybe your Mom and dad will not see them, but maybe someone you know will.
Someone that might misuse them, and make something beautiful dirty.
Monday, February 17, 2003
This is an open letter to all that email me,
Hello Friend and or crappy online business, Tis I, Luallen.
Thank you for taking the time to send me your thoughts and or threats. If you are selling something, please note that I am a college student and therefore have no money. What little free cash I have I spend on comic books. Because of this obsession with comics, I do not need herbal viagra or penis enhancement chemicals/ pumps. I cannot meet a woman thanks to my appearance and lack of social skills. So I sincerely doubt the size of my penis will enter the equation. I see that you have taken this possibility to heart and offer me a wide assortment of pornography to ease my womanless suffering. Thanks no, I do not need to see college coed web cams or women and animals "getting it on". The name of the woman that you can offer me pictures/movies of DOES NOT MATTER. I stand firm in my belief that I will not except the offers of porn from online dealers, i refuse to pay for it. Also, you seem to believe that if you pretend to be a long lost friend I will respond to your offers of porn. This hurts me deeply, if you were in fact a long lost friend that puts "hey you" in the subject line and offered me naked pictures of you, I would be shocked. I might even offer to help you out, cause no friend of mine is going to have to shake their money maker to make ends meet. Unless you were a jerk to me in high school, cause if thats the case, I think its really funny. "You wouldn't date me huh? Thought you were to good for the likes of me? Great to know you strip at a club called Boobie Bungalow, heres a dollar." And after the first time I hear about this, I just get sad.
Also, if you wanted to sell me insurance or over the counter drugs, using the lowest, cheapest means of getting me to look at your product is not the way to go. First off this implies your a bit of a "fly by night" organization. Not someone I should give my 6 bucks an hour earnings to. Second, your annoying me. You have started off our relationship by pissing me off with junk mail. I all ready hate you before i even read your pitch. This is starting off in the hole, THINK MAN THINK!
I dont care what the stars are doing. I am not a star, i will never be a star. Therefore, Star news is not my news.
I don't want to lose weight due to your help. I will figure that one on my own thanks. That and that email is calling me fat. And calling a person fat is a great way to endure yourself to them.
I dont care about the terror alert causing system. I will not bottle water. If I am fated to die, so be it. Let it come. I don't want to live in a world of fear and hate.
If I know you and your not a business, put your name in the subject line. Please to not send me links to little animations without telling me what the link is. Odds are, I have seen it before and can skip it. Space out the "cute" things you send someone that you yourself did not actually make. If you dont, I might just delete everything you send me assuming its junk. Thats how we lost the formula for the serum of immortality.
If you get a new email address or have many ones, put the one I know in the subject line, make my life easier and safer. No flashing porn signs that way.
Thank you all for following these rules, if you do i promise not to hurt you in the worst possible way.
Belive me, i know it.
Sunday, February 16, 2003
People are idiots. Complete and utter.
We got a comment card the other day at work about our credit card procedure. At my work there is only one place that you can use a credit card, the box office. And if you don’t know what that is, it’s the place you buy your tickets. That’s why the amount of money a movie makes refers back to BOX OFFICE receipts. You would not imagine the amount of people that have no idea what the words box office refers to. Well cause you can only use credit cards in box office, we let people buy gift certificates to use in concession. Gift Certificates that are pretty much the same as cash, you can get money back and everything. The thing we have been doing that pisses people off is asking for id. Just a drivers licenses. At a movie theater, asking for id is the most dreaded part of the job. People are ticked off to be asked to prove they A) are that they say they are and B) if they are old enough to see an R rated feature. If I got your credit card and bought 100 bucks of gift certificates on your card, would you like it if they person just used the signature method of credit card id? This thing is completely out of date because we as a nation want to be rock stars. And we sign receipts like them. First letter and last letter you can read. The rest? Just lines and bumps. This rock star method of signing might make up for your lost dream of being a guitarist for Night ranger, but it means that you cant prove who you are by signing your name anymore. Asking for id is the only way to make sure you are you. But this is “in convent” for some people. So when your credit card has a dozen tickets of Jungle Book 2 on it, don’t come crying to me.
I had a customer place an interesting drink order today. A medium Mc Rib. Mc Rib being the fantastic sandwich sometimes offered by the McDonalds fine dining establishment. I assumed I merely misheard him. Cause what person orders a sandwich as a drink? So I ask again. He repeats it, with great annoyance, a medium Mc Rib. I suggest that perhaps he meant something else. He finally correctly asked for a Mr. Pibb and acted like he said that all along.
Mr. Pibb is now referred to as Pibb Extra Cause its so Xterme Yeah, that word is officially dead. RIP Extreme anything. When soft drinks get into it, its time to shoot the horse already.
I saw Chicago Friday night, liked it so much I plan on seeing it again next week.
I might review it tomorrow.