Friday, March 28, 2003

1:28 PM

Because I have been freaking out thanks to my parents insanity, I didn’t get t finish a review for today, so that means it time for
True Conversation’s with Lu

Lu: Lord?
Jeph as a higher being: YES, MY SON?
Lu: i would like very much for you to smite some people
Jeph as a higher being: WHOM SHALL I SMITE?
Lu: my parents
Lu: strike them down
Jeph as a higher being: AND HOW DO YOU WISH THEM TO BE SMOTEN?
Lu: drop a cow on them
Lu: Gateway version
Lu: and if it mooed on the way down, that would be awesome
Jeph as a higher being: IT SHALL BE DONE.
Jeph as a higher being: [mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo THUD SPLAT CRUSH]
Lu: yes
Lu: no wait no, i can still hear my dad VACUMING THE WOOD FLOORS
Jeph as a higher being: SHIT. I THINK THE COW HIT YOUR ROOF.
Lu: thanks a lot Lord, you’re a biiiig help

And here is my plan of getting away from this mad house.

Lu: i found out another friend of mine is moving to New York
Maddy: Really? Any one I'd know about?
Lu: so i have this other person i know that wants to go visit them and then i could go with them
Lu: no, this is an ex co worker
Maddy: Oh.
Maddy: Yes.
Maddy: Visit, visit, visit.
Lu: thats the plan
Lu: but this would be a late visit
Lu: like in October
Maddy: That's okay. Better a late visit
than none at all.
Lu: so i might be forced to come earlier as well
Maddy: Though I genuinely hope to visit M'boro before then . . .
Maddy: Oooh!
Maddy: Awesome.
Lu: cause you’re just that cool
Maddy: Aww. Shucks.
Lu: AH when you do? TELL ME
Lu: cause i will drive just to say hey
Maddy: Oh. I will definitely tell you.
Lu: see if i come and see you a whole bunch, i will be all "why don’t i just move there" in my head
Maddy: Totally.
Lu: and trick myself into moving to New York
Lu: with deception
Maddy: Sounds like a good plan to me!
Lu: yep
Lu: if only my evil plans could be
used for goodness
Maddy: They can! They can!

I just learned that my parents, being the wonderful caring souls they are, think that I am addicted to the Internet and that’s bad.
So they are thinking about taking it away from me. The one stabilizing thing in my life ::poof::
Not to mention the fact I can no longer use the net for news and research.
The main reason that I use the net anyway.
That and talk to people, people I can’t talk to otherwise.
I only learned this because my sister let it slip; they always talk to her about the computer with her. Like I am an infant, like she is so much more mature than I am just cause she is 18 and has a drug addiction and a failed marriage under her belt. Oh and she failed out of college taking only three classes one of them orientation the others remedial classes.
And I am the one with the problem.
This is just a giant boot in my ass out the door, its impossible to live here.
If I disappear and this site isn’t updated as often, you guys know what happened.

Damn its like the bottom fell out.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

10:23 PM

And now, a review: (something that i was working on sunday, and just now finished)

Loneliness, is it really that bad?
Of course there is the despair, and the feelings of inadequacy, but when you boil being alone down to its key components, it’s not the end of the world. See what I am doing, right now? I am writing this, alone. If someone was here, I could not concentrate on writing and talk to them at the same time.
Everything I have ever written has been written alone. So, if you don’t like my writing, be my friend and this will stop. If I actually got a girlfriend? Forget about this site being updated in a timely fashion.
Human interaction seems to slow creativity. William Wordsworth’s best poetry was written in his pre-Poet Laureate days. Once he got that position he didn’t have a need to work as hard. He was basically told he was good and people liked to be around him, so then his work was not as important. To wander lonely as a cloud, you have to be lonely in the first place. I think that was Wordsworth, could have been Blake.
I get the Williamsis confused. The one with the crazy sister that wrote on and on about every aspect of her brother’s life.
Like the world really needs to know when a poet is sick and is making poopy all the time. Thanks to her, we know all about this guy’s life, what he ate, what he liked, EVERYTHING! Did she think about me when she was writing that stuff? Heck no. She was just rambling about the goings on at her and her brother’s strange house and their “relationship”. I have to read and understand that stuff now and get tested on it.

Wait no, back on topic, must get back on topic. [Downs two bottles of cherry flavored Ritalin]

It’s kind of rewarding to be alone though. Just to think about things that is going on in your life, and not be distracted by someone talking. It’s tranquil, and refreshing at the same time. Like Zima, without the alcohol. Or some product that has a woman running in a field with something inspirational playing in the background. I don’t know what these products are. And in a way, I hope I never do.
But running thru a field in slow motion is something you should do when completely alone. Some things are fun, but are embarrassing if others can see you doing them. I can’t carry a tune in a dump truck, but I still like to sing along with the radio when driving long distances.
I like being alone, yet hate it.
When you are alone for long periods of time, you get used to your own company. Anything that is not you is seen as foreign, different and confusing. That’s the problem; no person can live and not be affected by the world around them. Sticking your head in the sand and hoping that eventually the things “will be alright” is a good way to end up the crazy person that talks to themselves on the side of the street, like Alan Alda. You know somewhere, out there, he is screaming at the top of his lungs “I WAS HAWKEYE PIERCE DAMNIT!” every time some medical related TV show wants him to play a washed up Doctor for sweeps. To get the rabid Alan Alda fans to watch, cause they come out of the woodwork for everything.
Life only makes sense when you stop waiting for it to make sense and do something to force sense into life. Being alone can help in this, but it can also disconnect you from life.
I have always kept away from people, for the most part. I thought I just did not have the tools to make friends or think anyone would want to be friends with me.
Maybe internally, I just pick the wrong people and avoid the right ones cause I don’t want to take the chance of actually living rather than merely existing.
I could be using loneliness as my mask, my way out, my excuse. Like its my all purpose safety net?
This cant be just me. There have to be others. Other people that are sucked into being alone and like and hate it.

12:03 AM

Day Two,
This is going to be short cause I worked a whole double today and needs me sleep.
I believe I have been poisoned.
This is not one of those paranoid delusional things cause they really are out to get me. At work today, I noticed a truck spraying something on the grass. This looked a bit weird and out of place so I did what any concerned citizen of these United States would do in an Orange Alert State of readiness, I stood there and leered at them. Now, I am a world champion leered, when I leer, you can bet I mean business. And drawn, by the power of my leer I suspect, a police officer arrived and said something to the grass spraying terrorist suspects. I was to far away to hear it, but I suspect it went like:

[Cop] "Just what in the hell are you doing?"

[Terrorist grass sprayer] Spraying the grass, with an evil chemical of death.

[Cop] You have a permit to do that?

[Terrorist grass sprayer] I don't know, I will have to phone my boss.

[Cop] You do that. I will stand here and let you still spray your death chemical while your friend calls your boss. Ask him if you guys are terrorists to.

::Terrorist grass sprayer sprays some more grass, careful not to spray himself with the chemical::

[Chemical sprayer with the cell phone] Hey Boss, there is a cop here and..

[boss] SHIT!, You haven't told him anything have you?

[cell phone chemical guy] No, i mean he asked if we had a permit to spray this stuff on the grass.

[boss] ::sounds of thinking, something like a gerbil running on an exercise wheel:: Tell him yes, yes you do.

[ cell phone chemical death merchant] We aren't like, terrorists or anything, right?

[boss] Remember when I paid you in goat's blood that one time?

[cell phone stupid chemical sprayer] Yeah?

[boss] That should have been a clue.

And I think the cop fell for it, cause she left them to spraying the dead grass with the chemical of death.
I walked over to the mall, past the grass of death, on my lunch half hour a couple of hours after the chemical was put down.
The chemical smelled like a pesticide and painted the grass green to make it seem more appealing for the children to eat.
I bet that yummy grass tastes like burning.
But I smelled that stuff, so its only a matter of time before the terrorist chemicals turn me into a dead taco.
Yeah, so that freaked me out.

Monday, March 24, 2003

11:13 PM

Well now, last nights update did not happen because of work. This is Spring Break for me and while others are partying with nakedness, I am stuck at work dealing with people that don’t realize they should get out of Nowhere, Alabama when the weather is pretty and the schools are out. Needless to say, the people that come into the theater at this time are interesting, so as a public service, and personal therapy I will talk about my workweek in hell.

Day One- I am currently learning how to thread movie projectors. So I spent most of the day up stairs with cold unfeeling machines, that hate me, and far away from the annoying people, that hate me. I prefer to be away from customers, for the most part. They tend to go on rants about prices that after 3 years and some change working at a movie theater get old. So I am going to share with you, why movie prices are so high. People that work with me; feel free to tune out at this point. When you go into a movie theater and get a ticket, who do you think gets that money? Maybe the theater, and of course the production company that made the movie. This is correct, for the most part. However, movie production companies get most of the tickets, over half, during the majority of a movies run. Only a tiny amount of money is generated from this. Not enough to make pay role and pay for the rather expensive movie equipment and the high electric bill that the projectors cause. So, companies make it up with high concession prices. I know it sucks to pay 7 plus bucks to get into to see a flick, and then pay 14 bucks at the concession stand. So this is what you do, it’s really easy: you go and eat before you go to the movies and don’t buy anything at the concession stand if you can’t afford it. I know it’s a mind blowing concept, and that it seems the very fabric of the universe will fall apart if you don’t buy over priced pop corn from some one that gets paid minimum wage and complain to them about it. But that’s the thing; they don’t see any money from that popcorn. They are paid for their time, time that seems longer when they have people in their faces telling them they should be ashamed for making people buy expensive food. Someone I know that worked at a vet’s office complained to me about the prices at theaters and said that we should not be allowed to sell things for this. It’s not right.
First of all, if Burger King wanted to sell Whoppers at 5 bucks a burger, they could. Sure their business would go down quick, but that’s part of our system. I can sell what I want (as long as its something legal), at the price I want, and the government can’t say anything about it. You want to complain and it make a difference? You just don’t buy anything. That’s what big business listens to, its purse strings. Not what the guy they pay 5. 25 an hour hears. Also, if you have a complaint with a company policy, odds are the person with the plastic nametag is not a voting stockholder. That’s what comment cards are for people. To get your thoughts to the people that actually makes the decisions.
Second, she worked at a vet’s office. Which is part of the medical care service. I know that a vets and a Doctors office are not exactly the same, but both are something that you cannot do without. You don’t go to the doctor’s office on a date, or cause you are bored. You don’t go to the Docs because you are a fan of their work. You go their cause something is a miss with you or someone you care about, and you want a person with Dr. at the start of their name to fix it. Do they do this out of the kindness of their hearts? Going to the doctor is something that is required to be healthy, as long as it’s not a bad doctor or one of those “kill my patients” docs that like to cause suffering. They really should just stay in some sort of S and M club if that’s what they are into. But GOOD doctors make people better and have to get money to do it. If you don’t have the correct insurance, you can’t get the health care you need. Does that suck? Yeah, a lot, considering that other nations have better health care programs than we do. So that proves its possible to have a working health care system. People should not be expected to pay to live. But they do, and that’s wrong. So, how dare that neutering vet tech judge me? When greater wrongs are out there and she is part of the industry of money for life?
Tomorrow, actual stupid customer stories.

my thoughts and rants