Friday, April 11, 2003

1:10 PM

Huh What? You want a freaking update? I am working on an English Paper and really don’t have time to play right now…
Hmm… Lets see, I got it!

True Conversations with Lu: The Desperate Years

Stunning People Skills Part One;

Lu: now where was i?
Lu: ::steals heather's socks::
Heather S: hey!
Lu: well, its not like i stole your undies or something
Heather S: perhaps
Lu: ::steals heathers underthings::
Heather S: HEYYY!
Lu: heh
Lu: not like i peeked
Lu: ::peeks::
Heather S: *GASP!*
Lu: ::evil laugh::
Lu: All your fine washables belong to us
Lu: and an image of your softer side of sears
Heather S: haha
Lu: :)

Stupid People and their Stupid Happyness, PAH!

Lu: congrats on the heather thing
Lu: deleted cause I repeat myself alot
Jeph: thanks :)
Jeph: yeah, i'm pretty excited for it.
Lu: so are you on cloud nine?
Jeph: oh, definitely.
Lu: thats pretty cool
Jeph: yeah, it's nice.
Lu: a lesser man would try to knock you down to where he is
Jeph: hehe
Lu: ::drinks in deep the despair::
Lu: Its like an liqueur
Jeph: haha

Still talking to Jeph, this time about hating other peoples joy, some more

Lu: oh great
Jeph: ?
Lu: my cousin is getting married
Jeph: yeah?
Lu: the rich cousin that thinks they are better than us
Jeph: lovely.
Lu: hmm i have two alternatives
Lu: one, be really classy and dress nice with a date, equally classy
Lu: or white trash it up in a blue powered tux, white zip up shoes, smoke during the service, drink out of a bottle with a bag over it
Jeph: hahah HELL YEAH
Lu: this is going to be a lot of fun

Stunning People Skills Part Two
Lu: but if anything else happens, i am going to scream and become a wild man of the forest
Mel (Maddy’s Friend from tennesse) : I tried that already
Lu how that work out?
Mel: heh...doesn't help any
Lu: damnit
Lu: we have to go and do it together at the same time
Lu: cause mass chaos
Mel: lol
Lu: espeically if we go nude
Mel: Umm...
Mel: lu: we have to go and do it together at the same time
Mel: lu: espeically if we go nude
Lu: lol
Mel: hehe...
Lu: well why not
Mel: if I didn't know what you were talking about already...
Mel: lol
Lu: but i guess i am going to be naked during it
Lu: heh
Mel: During what? lol
Lu: umm wrestleing?
Mel: hehe you suddenly from ancient Greece now?
Lu: yep, i have lots of urns
Mel: naked men, then?
Lu: no no NO
LU: its not like that
Mel: hehe
Lu: i could never wrestle a man, the bible says "Therefore only women shalt the men wrestle, for it is pleasing in my sight"
Mel: ~doesn't remember that line~

All I really want…

Heather S: have you seen the hunted?
Lu: nope, my theater has it, but I can’t bring myself to stay and watch it
HeatherS: have you heard anything about it? As far as if it's good or not?
Lu: I have heard that its a nice little action flick
Lu: if your going for that, its enjoyable
Heather S: yeah...I was just wondering
Lu: I want to see it cause if I want to be beinsco del torro
Heather Sl: you want to be a hunter of deer hunters or just...all hot?
Lu: hot
Lu: i want to be hot and cool and shit
Lu: he went on Leno in a baseball cap
Lu: how cool is that? Nope i dont need a hairdresser, thanks
Heather S: definitely
Lu: that make me weird?
HeatherS : no.
Lu: thank god, :kisses framed pic of del torro:
Heather S: hehe
Lu: umm i mean a pic of a naked lady
Lu: that i respect as a person
Heather Sl: who is draping herself over benicio del toro like a shawl, right?
Heather s hehheh

Jeph and myself make our plans against the insane tyrant known as Madcap Madien: SeaLab style

Lu: maddy's insane dude
Jeph: haha, why is that?
Lu: her wrath just smote me of the internet
Jeph: wow
Lu: we have to bring her down man
Lu: we must join forces
Jeph: [hee]
Lu: we would get really cool jump suits
Jeph: heh
Jeph: i want crazy night-vision goggles, too.
Lu: you get them
Jeph: woo!
Lu: and pills that give you the strength of FIVE GOORILLIAS!
Jeph: YEAH!
Lu: but i get to be a robot cat!
Jeph: that would be bad-ass.
Lu: and we could get a base on the moon!
Jeph: yes.
Lu: I declare martain law
Jeph: "don't your mean MARTIAL law?"

Lu: nope, law of the red planet mars
Lu: I can marry people, right?
Jeph: oh, totally.
Jeph: everyone will want Robo-Ninja-Cat weddings.
Lu: I proclaim you Hobos
Jeph: YES!
Lu: knight of mars, kicker of ass
Lu: drunks muchos

Thursday, April 10, 2003

2:25 PM

A Man Apart, or, how Vin Disel can’t pick movie to save his soul.

I want to start this review with a warning. If you want to see this film, and I pity you, don’t read all of this review. Like Willard, I am going to spoil the hell out of this thing. Since I believe that more people are likely to see this film than Willard, I warn you now.

This is one of those movies that if you have seen the trailer, you have seen the film. I really, really hate when they do that. Its like the person that cuts the trailers doesn’t know that sometimes suspense is a good thing, and telling the whole story is just as bad as not telling what the movie is about. The trailer tells you not to get to attached to the wife, cause she is going to die. You know that Vin Disel goes after the drug dealers that killed his wife. Then the war ensures. Not much of a plot, but when the wife gets killed, you don’t care. You know this character is going to die; she is this movie’s Kenny. And there are something’s that are just so stupid; they pull you right out of the movie.

For Example:

When the wife is shot, Vin Disel is shot in the gut. This does not seem to affect him, he jumps up and runs after the gunmen without even the slightest indication that he has been shot in a place that bleeds out really fast, except for the blood on his shirt. After he is given enough time to shoot his attackers, run after them, and hear their cryptic warning about “Diablo” or something. Then he barks for his wife to call 911, and when she does not rush to obey the meat bag, his keen detective mind springs into action. He runs in and finds her bleeding from about 500 gunshot wounds. I say because there is blood all over her body. Only then does the gun shot wound begin to have an effect, he is unable to remember what you say to 911 when you and your wife has been shot. He stammers and makes his cry face, which looks a lot like his can’t make poopy face. Later in the movie, its really really bad and I screamed when his trying really hard to cry face appeared. This means that real pain or emotion does not affect Vin Disel until the director whispers in his ear to do something other than growl speak at the camera.

Vin Disel gets the big bad drug lord a transfer while he is on probation. While he has his badge turned in.
I am not an expert on police procedures, nor claim to be, but when a cop turns in his badge and gun that means he is not officially a cop right? So why would they transfer a guy that is serving two life sentences to a different jail cause a badge less cop says so? No way XXX has that kinda pull, even with the badge.

Vin Disel has a big freaking head. He also has a big freaking neck. This causes him to suffer from a painful condition called “Stupid Hat Head”. He might be all super cool sleep with anyone, beat the shit out of anyone, but you slap a hat on his freakishly large head and its giggle inducing. Particularly the kind of hat that Vinny is wearing in this film. It makes him look like a really ripped pissed off Gillian. Plus, he is supposed to be hurt at this point and can’t remember that when your shot in the leg, you limp all the time. Not just when the director yells “LIMP DAMNIT” at you. That’s why I think he is in the hat. Its to help Vin Disel to remember that “when your head is covered, you limp”.

The movie has no point, at all. This is where I give away the surprise ending. IF you can call an ending that makes no sense whatsoever, a surprise.
Its more like a “What the fuck?” ending.
Vin Disel gets the bad guy right? Then this new drug outfit named “Diablo” starts blowing up the old bad guy’s drug operation. Piece by piece. Then he goes after Vin Disel’s wife, for some reason. Because XXX really did him a favor if you think about it, took out the old boss so Diablo can be the new boss. Unless it’s a “Look I got the one that took out the other guy, so I am bad ass”. Then Diablo kills a bunch of the Old Big Bad Drug lord’s people and his family.
So Big Bad Drug lord decides, out of the evilness of his heart, that he will help Vin Disel take down Diablo.
Vin Disel does not question how a drug lord in prison knows anything about a new drug lord that hates his guts.
For his is not to question why, his is to blow shit up.
XXX hunts down the drug lord and guess what? It’s the right hand man of the Big Bad Drug Lord! It was all a plan to get him out of prison.
That makes no sense, whatsoever. The guy killed a ton of his own men, ruined his rep with the drug-dealing people, killed his family, and destroyed part of his own organization just to what?
Get out of jail?
If he had this kind of pull, why didn’t he just organize his break for jail? With all of his men he killed to get the same thing, he could have ripped into that prison and gotten free.
And the Evil drug said something to the ratty assistant dude that was not translated.
So that means something was up there.
And guess what happens at the end? XXX arrests the Big Bad Drug dude at his hide out hometown.
I actually screamed “GOD DAMN YOU MOVIE” at the screen when the credits rolled.

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

2:17 PM

Well, Monday my monitor got all non-worky.
Thanks to Joey, i got a tv to work as monitor in the interuim and now have a new monitor that i will be paying for with nagging parents that claim that its all my fault the old one broke.
This is even after i offered to pay for this new one, but they prefer just to yell and cuss.
Yeah, so Lou Sucks is back up and running.
In the words of a certain Madien:

my thoughts and rants