Saturday, September 20, 2003

12:36 AM

Gee, I used to be funny...I think


I have recently realized that a large number of the columns begin with the word “well”. In fact, the main land line computer has upwards of 16 stored documents with well as the first word. This implies something about my mood when I write these things, I have had it, enough is enough and I am ready to wake someone up with a shot gun over something or other.
Or maybe not.
Maybe I just fall into a set pattern of my writing style. Perhaps “well” is nothing more than a crutch of words that I use to open up a one way conversation. What it means, I don’t care really.
There are many things going on in the world around us, I , alas, can only write about a select few.
Another candidate has thrown his hat into the ring. A military man, ex General Clarke is running for president. The ten little Democratic Indians are in a heated battle to unthrone the mad warmonger currently in office. Who has the greatest chances?
Those in the know have said that Clarke is a little more conservative than Howard Dean and that might make him a more attractive candidate to them that want that sorta thing.
Clarke doesn’t like the war we are currently waging and has said this from early on in the conflict.
A General that is anti war and is also someone my father , to claims to have met him, hates.
Is it possible to be a more attractive candidate?
But then again, Clarke has zero political experience. Heck, he hasn’t even been elected to Student Government but he has said things I agree with.
Like his position on gun control: "If you are the type of person who likes assault weapons, there is a place for you -- the United States Army. We have them."

And even better the repeal of the Bill of Rights, also know as the Patriot Act.

“We have to be very careful of the PATRIOT Act. It was passed at a time of enormous perception of threat in this country. It was passed without full legislative analysis and review. It’s been in place, a number of people have been arrested, a number of people have been deported. I think the PATRIOT Act needs a good, open air, public review, in the sunshine, before we retain it or modify it, or add to it.”

But wait, what about Bush’s stupid tax plan of increased spending and decreased taxes?

“I think that the tax cuts were unfair. And, finally, I mean, you look at the long-run health of the country and the size of the deficit that we’ve incurred and a substantial part of that deficit is result of the tax cuts. You have to ask: “Is this wise, long-run policy?” I think the answer is no."

Wait, could this be? But what did he say on the war exactly?

“We went into Iraq under false pretenses. There was…deceptive advertising; you'd be taking [President Bush] to the Better Business Bureau if you bought a washing machine the way we went into the war in Iraq. [W]e're taking casualties. We haven't made America safer by this. We've made America more engaged, more vulnerable, more committed, less able to respond. We've loss a tremendous amount of goodwill around the world by our actions and our continuing refusal to bring in international institutions”

I am really liking this guy.
He is pro choice and wants thinks that “don’t ask don’t tell” is stupid. With the exception of him almost starting World War 3 a couple of years ago, I would be behind him 100 per cent. Something about an order to prevent Russian troops from taking an airport in 2000. Clarke was going to prevent it, British General said no way. I really don’t see what the big deal is about this, it might have been a bad call, or it might not have. These things happen.
I have to do more research. Howard Dean making most of his campaign money of the internet is something that I like. No greasy paper sacks full of questionable money for him.
And some other of his policies are interesting as well, but then again more research.

Who do we have as the rest of the ten little Indians?

Carol Moseley Brown

Howard Dean

John Edwards

Dick Gephardt

John Kerry

Bob Graham

Dennis Kuninic

Joe “I hate everything” Lieberman

The Reverend Al Sharpton

I call them the ten little Indians , not because they are not good candidates or good people. No, this early in the game, there can be no real front runners. Hell, Gary Hart was the front runner in 88 til his sexual habits caught up with him. Before the election, some will fall. It happens.
We will cut the weak and some of the good from the herd. The office of president is a dangerous place, only suitable from utter bastardy or sex fiends. One tends to cancel the other out. There are the Nixon’s with their back room deal making and power plays and there are the JFK’s and the Clinton’s having sex with any woman that is not their wives. This is the modern White House. Good men don’t last long in the drivers seat of the worlds most powerful race car. They don’t understand how to handle the power, they either misuse it or let others drive it for them.
I don’t think that Bush is evil on a level with Nixon. Lets face it, he just is not smart enough. His masters pull the strings well. Sometimes you can catch that “I really have no idea where I am” look in his eyes when the mini speaker in his ear stops working. We all know that puppets should not be in the White House, so someone has to get Bush out of there. But who has what it takes, or more important, who doesn’t have something to hide?
Which of the Indians will be reveled to have the biggest secrets in their closets? You can count Joe Lieberman right out, he is anti anything with even a hint of fun. And if anything interesting was to be known about Lieberman, it would have been forced into the nations memory banks by his failed run for the big little house last election. Some will fall from past sins, others because people just don’t like them. The president has to be someone that people like for some reason. If there is someone in that list that you have never heard of, and your smart, they don’t have good odds. They are not all running for the main spot though, if they are smart they will start pairing up for running mates when front runners are decided. Its an exciting time and a important time.
Whatever you do, don’t listen to what someone says about this race, certainly not me.
You have a computer, use it. Search into the backgrounds of these people. See what makes them tick, if you agree, look into if you can vote for them.
You to can change the course of history. You to can vote and campaign for a person you believe in. Educate the masses one agruement at a time. That idiot that you know that has no idea who anyone in the race is? Beat him with a stick. That person that doesnt vote because “they cant make a difference” light a fire under them. Its not to early to care about these things. What I found out about Clarke was the result of a Google search. Maybe a couple of mintues to look up and read his thoughts on things. I am going down the list, and doing the same for the rest of them. I don’t like Bush as President, and I am doing something about it. I think he is dangerous so I am looking into his replacement.
I really think you should to.








Tuesday, September 16, 2003

12:01 AM

Mini Lou Sucks-

Saw this and I had to mention it:

R. Kelly singer and perhaps sexual deviant said in the October issue of Blender (yeah, i dont read it either I guess thats why they had to ask R. Kelly for an interview)

"They can criticize you without even knowing you, and hate you when they don't even know you. All of a sudden, youre like the bin Laden of America. Osma bin Laden is the only one that knows exactly what i am going through."

Yes, thats right. In order to defend himself against child pornography charges that has caused people to make him the but of jokes, charges that have video tape that might just prove that they are real. He compares his bad press to Osma bin Laden, mass murderer and leader of terrorists. Thus comparing himself with a killer.

You hear that?

Listen closely.


Thats the sound of R Kelly's lawyers whacking him in the back of the head.
Guilty, not guilty, you NEVER compare yourself to someone that is hated by mass numbers of people in order to gain sympathy.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

1:33 PM

This is the End?

“Sarin also known as GB is a nerve agent so deadly that a drop on the skin can kill”

I think I know what will finally dislocate my consciousness from this corporeal body, by God. Sarin nerve gas or another chemical agent that is due to be destroyed in a chemical weapons disposal unit is going to escape and turn into a mighty cloud of yellow death vapor that will spell my doom. “Tut Tut silly Luallen” you think, “surely this weapons plant is safe from any possible leak or mishap, and besides, its not like they have it near any places were there is people living right?”
First off, figure out how to ask questions properly, I don’t even know what you are talking about right there at the end, and frankly I don’t wanna know. Secondly, are you really that freaking naive? This is the south we are talking about here, the government really doesn’t care about us and the local state elected official just needs to have government contract dollars waved under their noses enough to make them forget about little things like safety and that cold war area nerve agents are tricky little bastards.
The other day, I was listening to the Clear Channel poison, otherwise known as the radio, when a official sounding voice asked me if I knew my escape route should the Anniston Chemical Weapons Disposal Facility suffer massive failure and start pumping thousands of gallons of nerve agent into the environment.
Surely not, I thought.
There is no chance that a plant that deals with such a deadly and well guarded weapon be subject to the rigors of the South. And even if it is here, it must be a well built and well tested system. Fool proof and reliable.
Smeg that.
That very same day (which can’t be by pure happenstance, can it?) a Sarin leak was announced in Anniston, two leaks actually. The Army destroyed 530 gallons of this stuff and still has 270 more gallons to go. So I guess we can expect about 1 and a half leaks for the next burn if those odds follow suit. Also, they slipped in the fact that a couple of weeks ago, they had a leak that wasn’t the false alarm we were lead to believe. In fact, the spokesman said the closest thing to saying “my bad” that I have heard an official type person say. He claimed the error was due to him not asking the correct questions, adding:

“I did not intentionally mislead you, the public or anyone else, I don’t think the facility misled anyone.”

Yeah, saying TWO WEEKS after two more leaks that the system leaked when you said it didn’t is not at all misleading. It’s not as if you waited around for a bit waiting for another mistake to occur so you could slip your error in with the bad news. And the odds that you happened to find out about the previous leak the same time as the current leak and just happened to combo the press events cant be good right?
Apparently false alarms are an regular occurrence at this weapons destruction plant. They had to shut the plant down earlier in its existence because the alarms kept sounding for no reason that anyone at the plant could determine. Now I am thinking that it could have been because gas was a leaking. Just a blind hunch, sometimes when it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it turns out to be a duck selling insurance. Or we could have the little boy who called wolf effect with these alarms. They have been false for so long, no one really takes them seriously.
Also, this is the first time that they have had a plant like this close to a populated area, so they are really flying by the seat of their pants with this thing. These deadly nerve toxins are not meant to be handled safely close to where small children play and people that are not enemies are trying to go on living. They are meant to make people dead, and they don’t care what flag you wave in your front lawn or whose soil they are on. To deny the Sarin the right to kill is like denying Xtina the right to take her clothes off in public. Its not natural nor healthy.
The gas itself longs to kill. That is its purpose. The fact that it was created to kill communists in a country long sense renamed is besides the point. This gas is attempting to find a way to kill large numbers of people before the Army manages to recycle it into tinker toys and bubble gum. Death finds a way, especially death in the hands of people that can’t seem to ask the right questions. If this Mickey Mouse operation can’t even hire a spokesman that knows what the hell is going on, do you really think that they hired people that have any idea how to handle chemical weapons?
No, these are people that the Army does mind losing. The expendable in an expendable part of the country. They have long hated this area of the country and have shown that hate by pulling dangerous things here. Redstone Arsenal is here the chemical weapons plant is here. This is a place of mass stupidity and ignorance, why not just allow a little disaster to take out a few of the undesirables.
I don’t trust this thing, not at all. I need gas masks and duct tape. And perhaps a giant sealed bubble around my house to keep the toxins out. Its bad enough worrying about terror from aboard, but the terror of human stupidity is to much to bare. Why cant they put these things in places like Washington DC?
So that the government stooges can suffer for their own past sins or put well paid people in the plants to prevent mishap. Everyone knows that nerve gas cannot kill the political types, they have digested worst things for evening snacks. They wash their slimey bodies in vile poison and dry off with tainted monies. If not utterly corupt, they are merely sex fiends of the worst sort. Filled with carnal lusts that would make Hugh Hefener blush. You have to be a monster to get into polictics. All the honest ones have long been shamed out of it long ago, before anyone of us were born. The creatures that run the switch now could not be killed with anything sort of nuclear weapons. Perhaps not even those. Dick Cheneny is being kept alive by a combination high science and more drugs than Keith Richards ever took.
Sarin would only make these things stronger. Which is a double edged sword, because who really wants these freaks to live forever?
Thank Gary Coleman for term limits.
On the other hand, perhaps its better to wipe out the rednecks.
Just let me get out of here first, please Lord.

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