Saturday, September 27, 2003

3:14 PM

Welcome to the machine, killing you one day at a time.

Lord, its late. About two in the morning when I write this. I am uneasy and unable to sleep, to many questions lie in my brain unanswered. I am worried about everyone, there are far to many idiots out there with the ability to breed for our own good.
Something last Friday really caused me to re think my life as I know it. I went to the court house of Moulton, Alabama and forgot that with new security measures I would have to get X-rayed and the like.
Blast it, I thought, I should have remembered that these places are protected against terrorists and dangerous people now. My mind raced, was I a dangerous person? What did I have in my pockets? Was anything in there that I would not want an armed representative of the local law enforcement to know about? First off, I was not drunk or under the influence of any known drug , illegal or otherwise. Second, I didn’t have anything that could been seen by the cop mind as a weapon. As a precaution against testicle related injury, I only carry felt tipped or cheap plastic pens. Nothing that could successfully castrate me completely if accidently fallen on. So no worries of them being seen as weapons of throat destruction. Nothing save my wallet and keys were in my pockets.

OH NO! Not the keys, I had all but forgotten them. They were made of metal and just the right size to jab into the eye holes of guards and Judges. Why cant we have eye scanner or finger print scanners in cars and houses to verify ownership? They must be fairly inexpensive for every second rate world conqueror to be able to afford them in James Bond flicks. But then the novelty key chain companies would be out of business. And considering how these things are pushed on society, they must be one of the worlds more powerful companies. They want nothing short of a mini Rubix cube key chain in every pocket and cute and fuzzy useless crap next to everyones keys. Therefore, they do not allow non key tech to exist. Why hasn’t that changed over the years? We still use keys. Its what they want, and the government helps them. This way most people have a weapon of some sort on them at all times. Gives the machine a good reason to bash your head in, and we can’t have a alibi like that to go away. So keys exist for hundreds of years, even though current tech does not require keys to exist anymore, we still have the blasted things. I had a weapon on me and I couldn’t ditch it in a non crazy manner. I would be strip searched for sure and I am one of those people that should never be naked. It should be one of the rules of the universe, not all people should be allowed nudity. But before I could fake a brain cancer related seizure, I was waved thorough the security check point. No pat down. No invasive scans of all my personal belongings with a tumor inducing poorly maintained X-ray machine. I was in.
No, this could not be. I am a big guy, I could hide ten, fifteen semi automatic weapons in my various orifices. There must be some mistake, I can not be viewed as harmless. Not in this place of security. The relief I should have been feeling at the realization that I would pass the guards with my body cavity unopened to the sunlight was not there. In its place was deep resentment. Who the hell did these guards think they were to wave me in? I am not one to be brushed aside, I don’t like the government at all. I am an angry liberal that is two steps away from becoming one of those people that Asscroft (misspelling intentional) warns people about in his increasingly “old crazy man on the porch” speeches. I realized that I must look like on of the “Good Ole Boys” or something. I nearly threw up. Goddamn, what a place I live in. Madness is down here, good and thick.

Perhaps where you live, it is better, but down here the inmates have long remade the asylum in their own image. A man got probation last week for shooting his wife. Pleaded down to probation from firing a firearm into someone he promised to love honor and cherish.
And this was no mere shooting to the leg or an accident. He shot her in the chest twice and once in the head.
Drink that in for a minute.
That is no mere wounding, he wanted this woman dead. He went for the brain and the heart dammit! By complete luck and the fact the woman may or may not be a immortal death zombie is the only reason this woman is not in the ground right now. And he got probation?
Oh wait, he agreed to pay her 500 bucks a week for the rest of her unnatural life.
How does this happen? What section of hell do I live in?

Just this week:

a man pleaded guilty to shooting his wife in the face for nagging him about taking out the garbage.

A mother shot her sons Karate Instructor in the chest and left him to die of a sucking chest wound over a “disagreement”. One line in the case gets a chuckle out of me for some reason, when the crime was first announced, the police said “We don’t believe the shooting is karate related.” Like someone was sparing with him and thought he could catch bullets.

a man is on trial for beating a small child to death and blaming it on a dog

And my personal favorite

A man chased his girlfriend out of her house after pulling a four foot long sword out of a bundle of sheets and waving it after her. Apparently, he was drunk and her neck looked good for chopping. She ran and Hong Kong Fooy ran after her. The police are in the process of figuring out what to charge him with, seeing how “sword brandishing” is not something you think to put on the books.

These are among the many insanities that I face on a hourly basis. They are many, and I am attempting to catalog them all.

I think I am going to need a bigger website, perhaps even my own server. I don’t have enough storage capacity on this thing to write down all the crap in my head. Perhaps that book that has been long neglected on my hard drive should be finally completed. Things here are not “Sweet Home Alabama” they are more like bedlam.
Things that you have to see to believe. Maybe I should start offering “Tours of the Southland”.
Y’all should all come down here, ya here?
It would blow your mind up.

my thoughts and rants

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