Friday, October 17, 2003
Poor Dumb Bastard Theater
Yeah, you know who I am talking about. The Chicago Cubs were going to do it. Everyone assumed that it was a lock a couple of days ago.
And then the hand of God, or rather some random fan, intervened. He reached out for a ball without realizing that someone that was actually playing the game was reaching for it as well, more importantly , was going to catch it. Then came the poor dumb bastard, with a Chicago Cubs hat and headphones. He wanted to add the ultimate baseball related collectors item to his home. An actual piece of the game.
That’s all he saw when the ball came sailing at him. He didn’t think it would make him the object of hate and scorn for what could be a really long time. When people in a stadium start chanting “Kill Him, KILL HIM” it’s a sign that your life has taken a bit of a turn for the worst.
His multiple camera angles picture was beamed across the nation. His personal information was widely available the next day. Fans where advised of his strengths and weaknesses, he is a bit blind in his left eye, attack him from that direction, that sorta thing. Not that the media was advising people to hurt this poor dumb bastard, but they should do whatever they got to do.
Who among us has felt as he feels right now?
No, they still have people that want to marry them while they are in prison. Even if they killed primarily women of their body type and social bracket, serial killers still have people that find them worthwhile.
This guy (who I am not naming on purpose) is far worse.
Perhaps some evil world leader or corrupt government official? All of whom have done crimes far worst that reaching for a ball. But, the Cubs are no stranger to villains that turn the tide of a game. And old man and a goat is said to be the reason that the Cubs have had such a hard time getting back into the World Series. But that was before the days of mass media and the destroying influence it can bring to a young man that still lives with his parents life.
I really have room to talk in this regard, considering that I to live with my parents. But things that are ok for me to do, is something that this guy can’t get away with, right? He snatched a ball out of the glove of a team that blew the rest of the game and another one, that means his life is forfeit.
And speaking of someone taking balls away, I got a letter in the mail today about castration. And , I must say, I didn’t react to well to it. In fact, I jumped back and shouted “Hell no” about a dozen times and then crossed my legs.
I don’t know what this was supposed to do, but it was as an affective means of protecting the daddy parts that I could come up with at the time. What had I done for castration to be called upon to curtail me? I couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary. I would, of course, repeal this decision about my future sexual exploits that was made without my consolation. Then, I looked over the letter more carefully. While the words CASTRATION were in large print and in bold letters, it was not regarding me, directly. This notice was about my dog and how the people that saved his life a few months ago from an infection believe that the removal of his testicles is the best way for him to survive in the world today. This is something that I just don’t agree with. I am aware that the animal population of the world is in need of some form of control. “Fixing” animals is a good way of accomplishing this goal. Its far more humane to the animals that just feeding them to homeless people at mission shelters. Even though this kills two birds with one stone, this is something we just can’t do. Animals are far to good to be served to human beings. Especially the “companion” animals, your dogs, your cats and your trained monkey assassins. Fish and birds are killable, the minute they become annoying or ugly to look at. Pretty little fish that swim around in glass bowls? They can live. Ugly ass big mouthed fish ? They live for no other reason that the amount of tartar sauce we make can’t stand for all of them to be eaten at one time. Birds can be pretty when they hang around on perches and sing and generally be pretty all day. Once they start making clucking noises, their days are numbered. Quaking and waddle walking are kinda cute and kinda annoying at the same time, so we only eat duck occasionally. Animals live better lives than we do.
Think about it. Whats an animals goal in life? Eat, sleep, make other animals. Sometimes have a little fun doing a combination of those things. Those that kill, do so to eat. And a good chunk of animals only want mate when its their season to mate. They don’t run around increasing their numbers to an extent that the world can’t support them. They only increase their numbers to a point that they are annoying to us. There is the problem, isn’t it? We are the ones that invading where they live and using up all the resources that supported them easily. We who dirty the air and the water, who invented Pop music and MTV.
And we dare to say that they should keep their numbers down?
I think we need a strictly enforced population control system. Send out letters of castration to various people in the world. Just think about how the world would be if gene lines like the Bushes were completely wiped out? Not saying that we should just pick and choose who lives and who dies. But a mating permit would not be such a bad idea. As long as it didn’t have math on it, I don’t see why most people should be afraid of something like this.
But we can’t prevent the stupid from making more of themselves. Its not a perfect world by any stretch of the imagination. I just wish we could make sex harder somehow. Something like a rubix cube that only a select few could figure out. But we have to have “instincts” and all that garbage. Humping randomly “attractive” people is just so ingrained in us human beings that nothing can be done about it.
I want something to prevent the spread of humanity. I don’t want us to conquer the stars, like we have conquered this planet. There are far to many of us and we just aren’t ready yet. But China just had to stick is late ass foot into the space race, didn’t it? This will get the US space program back on track, we can’t have the Reds beating us into space, can we? That’s the only reason the United States landed on the moon, or a sound stage, depending on your religion. We had to defend the capitalistic values that are inherent to the moon. I like the concept of space travel, one look at my collection of Star Trek stuff can tell you that, but I don’t want the United States to get back into a pissing contest with another world power again. Maybe thats what the space programs needs right now to survive the space shuttle disaster, but its something that comes at a price. The Soviets ran out of money. Thats what won both the cold war and the space race to the moon. If the space race starts up again, I think that NASA will bankrupt the remains of the country that is left after the Bush regime is done. The 87 billion is all but approved. Bush is blaming the media for the lack of a need for this war that we are still fighting. Some of the money for Iraq is supposed to be paid back, but it will not come to pass.
Some where Sadamn and Bin Laden is laughing.
And a fan of the Cubs is shocked that he is seen as a villain by his fellow fans.
So I burned the notice of castration, and told my dog that his balls are safe as long as I am around.