Friday, November 07, 2003

3:51 PM

Silver Screen Liars


Movie trailers- 1. the little commercials that are intended to get you to see a movie even if you have no interest in what it is about. 2. If the trailer is long, that means every good scene in the whole film is in the trailer, be wary of these. 3. Sometimes the trailer has nothing to do with the movie they are adverts for. 4. And in other instances, they tell the entire story and you know everything you need to know, without seeing the flick.

You have to admire the people that put together movie trailers. Their task is a hard one, to take a few minutes of random shots from a full length movie, explain a plot that would get people to pay to see the rest of the movie, and be something that the viewing public has not seen before. The best of previews tell you all you need to know about a movie to decide on seeing it. The worst of previews tricks the public into wanting to see a film that has nothing to do with the images in the previews. In both instances, you can argue that the previews do their jobs. They get your butt in the seat. But is that right? Is it ok to trick people into seeing a movie?
If someone screws up and makes a crap movie, aren’t they supposed to suck it up and take it not making any money? Or do they still attempt to sell this horrible film to the unsuspecting public? There are some trailers that are slightly deceptive, and others that are criminally so. But, they can be deceptive in ways that hurt the movie itself. These trailers shoot themselves in the foot by pretending a interesting film is the same by the numbers borefest. Then you have the trailers that are actually short movies in and of themselves. They tell you everything about the movie, including all the twists and thereby negate the need to see your this movie. Bad Trailers need to be stopped at all costs, lets look at some of the notable offenders.

Tricky Trailers- Example: Cold Creek Manor- Watching this trailer you get an expectation. You know that you are going to see a creepy film with seriously good actors in it. Oh and there is a ghost in this house this family bought. Everything about the trailer screams this to you.
Nothing could be more wrong. There is no ghost, there is no horror. The mystery of the movie is more about why you are still sitting around in this film when you figure out the plot in the first ten minutes. Oh and Sharon Stone is still hot, but she can’t play the object of sexual desire to Steven Dorf. She doesn’t have that level of hotness anymore. Someone needs to tell her this. When you go to see a film about a creepy ghost house and all you get is a half hearted attempt to rip off other movies, you want to kill something.

Tricky Trailers part two: good films that pretend to be bad ones- Example- The Rules of Attraction- Its like they thought that making a movie that was fantastically good based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis of American Psycho fame was not enough. The trailer needed to pretend that it was just another teen flick. This shocked the people that saw the film , with the first scene, and drove away the people that would have loved it. I love a good hard look at society that does so with humor and satire. I don’t like movies that have the Dawson’s Creek or Seventh Heaven kids in them. This movie has both, and yet I loved it when it was forced upon me. WHY DIDN’T THE TRAILER TELL ME THIS?



Tell all trailers- we have all seen them. They have a whole mini movie vibe to them. You know all the plot points and twists. Sure they tell you all the needed info that allows you to decide on whether or not to see this flick, but they also take all the mystery out of the thing. Its like having that annoying friend that tells you every plot point to the movie they just saw despite your objections of lack of seeing it and preferring to find out about the movie from the movie itself. You don’t want trailers to be your annoying friend, you want them to be a gentle nudge in the right direction. To see a film that you might not have other wise one needs a little encouragement.

Selecting a movie is a lot like selecting a life partner, if you don’t do your research before hand, its going to be a nightmare haunting your dreams for the rest of your life.
And I know that all of you, right now, are picturing the worst relationship in your past, imagine that is the bad movie out there lurking for you. When you least expect it, this flick of pure evil will infect your very soul and steal money that you could have used on a good movie, or perhaps, the rental of a fine indie flick. Know this friends, Scary Movie 3 was the top grossing flick this past weekend, for the second weekend in a row. Can there be anything more disturbing? This movie was horribly unfunny, a film that should have never been made. It originally had Kevin Smith tied to it, but apparently that fell to the way side when the new director came on board. They wanted a movie that could be PG 13 instead of the previous two flicks R’s. This had the effect of getting all the kids that didn’t see the first two movies in theaters because of the ratings. They actually thought they were accomplishing something, not realizing that the gross out humor had been replaced with more Airplane and Naked Gun type fair.
And the trailer for this film, had scenes that weren’t even in the movie.
How fucked up is that? Trailers that contain trailer only footage.
Well, this is just a little public announcement for all my readers, all two of you.

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