Wednesday, December 24, 2003
So little boy, what do you want for Christmas?
I might not be a little boy anymore, but I do want many things for Christmas. I also want to give people things for Christmas but lack the funds to get more than a few cheap presents that by no means express my feelings towards someone in present form. I am not good at that, normally my presents have some sorta strange connection to the person given it, in my mind if no one elses. If you are reading this and not received a present it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you any less. However, you can be assured of one thing, if I become a honest to god being paid for it writer, like I hope I will, you will not die.
Thats all I can promise you, its not much, but immortality is all I am offering for the holidays this season. Perhaps next year it will be a nice pen set or perhaps a ill fitting sweater of some sort, but this year is immortality.
I am not talking about the blood sucking form immortality, thats a lot of mess and fuss for little gain. Well, you would get attractive Goth. girls at your beck and call, but this would be working immortality. You have to hunt for the blood of the innocent, you have to dress all spooky like, and if you’re a vampire worth his salt, you have to get a nice creepy castle and some underlings and those don’t grow on trees.
And if they did, I wouldn’t want to see a underlings tree, I bet it would smell like a combination of tuna fish and sweet and sour pork.
I am offering a special type of immortality here my friends, the type that is nothing you have to work at and I am the only one that has to sweat over it. You would be free from the affects of age and diease, you could be a hero or a villian, depending on the occasion, you could come back from the dead and appear in a hundred different forms in a hundred different ways. People that you have never met would know you, those you will not live to meet will know you also. That is, if I do my job right.
Of course you have figured it out by now, I am going to write about you.
Well, parts of you. You might combined with others for effect, you might gain and lose qualitys depending on what I need at the time. But some of you, some I know really well and others that I hate really well, will be recreated in whole cloth. Complete characters based on you. Someone 100 years from now could pick up a book and see you as I see you.
Which is to say, how you really are. Because I will hopefully be that good.
It takes a lot to get your own voice writing, I think I have mine down pat.
But its even harder to get someone elses.
I don’t think my fiction is there yet, I need to learn a bit more and do some more imitation.
Try to become someone else for a change.
But, if I do, and don’t suck anymore, I might be able to do that.
And thats something I hope you can like and not hate me for.
Promise a signed first edition copy for each of you.