Friday, January 16, 2004

2:04 PM

I have been thinking about Inspector Gadget a lot lately.
Could be the lack of sleep, but I think I have a really good idea on how to update and mass produce this idea into one kick ass movie.
Yeah, I know they already made that movie with Matthew Brodrick and much later , French Stewart. But they screwed up everything that made Inspector Gadget neat and interesting to make it more like something else.

What went wrong with this movie: the breakdown

-Showing the origins of the Gadget program and the Inspector.
BIG MISTAKE. Robocop has the whole “what makes a man” cyborg thing. You don’t need that with Gadget. He is a man with bionic parts, its not clear how he got them, but thats it. Also, he doesn’t work for local law enforcement, he works for a secret government agency. Which is why he has the exploding notes(also not in the movie) and a boss he only refers to as “the Chief”. The cartoon was a James Bond spoof in the vein of Get Smart (even Gadget’s voice is done by Don “Maxwell Smart” Adams). The less know about secret agencies the better. The less known about Gadget the better. This idiot somehow gets superpowers, thats all you need to know.

-Showing Dr.Claw, giving him a normal name and allowing him to get caught.
There are things that are in every episode of Inspector Gadget and have become something you expect when watching it.
1. Dr. Claw is the unseen (cept for a hand) mastermind of the CLAW organization.
2. He is never, ever caught because he has a rocket/submarine/super car.
3. He is never given any other name but Dr.Claw.
This movie fails on all these notes. And it makes Claw into more of a joke than a villain. The people he hires are idiots, but Claw is scary. And he doesn’t have a robotic Claw or a white cat. He has a black cat and a metal glove. These are the sorta things that pull you right out of a movie.

- The Gadget car talks and Brain doesn’t do his bark talking or pantomime. ( cept for the end credits when he really talks for no real reason).
The Gadget car in the cartoon could turn into a van or a sports car and had a giant robot arm in the front. That was about it. But the car in the movie could talk, and talk it did. At great length.
About absolutely nothing at all, you could remove every line of dialogue the car says and not have the movie impacted at all. The only reason this car had a voice was to annoy me.
I can not confirm this, but I am sure during the audio commentary of the directors cut of Inspector Gadget they something to that effect. And Brain is Penny’s highly intelligent anthropomorphic lover. He is not just a dumb dog that barks and bites the bad guys. He is the key to the whole Gadget operation. Without him, the heart of Inspector Gadget is lost.

- No computer book for Penny, and her role was greatly decreased from what it was in the cartoon.

Now, this is how I see Inspector Gadget.
Years ago a CIA like organization found a way to build robots powered by nanites. These nanites could build anything in seconds and could be used as the tools to make any preprogramed device within a certain size. Also, the developed an advanced AI system to run this robot, with a keen detective mind and genius level smarts. This AI also had the ability to been exceptionally cunning and crafty, besting the best spies at sneaking into places.
However, they had a problem.
It was to good. The AI combined with the convert Ops subroutine and the power of the nanite fueled body was practicality unstoppable. One of their top researchers, who would one day become Dr. Claw, felt that giving to much power to something that smart was just asking for trouble. He reasoned that the only way to keep this thing in line was to make it incredibly stupid. Stupid people follow orders is something that he strongly believed in, so much so thats what he fueled CLAW with, stupid people to carry out his orders.
The leader of the organization came up with an interesting solution. Break the super robot into three different bodies. One, Penny, with the personality of a small child and therefore more willing to at least listen to others, given the super AI brain. Brain a robot with the programed loyalty of a dog, was given the convert Ops chip. The Inspector, whos body is the only thing keeping him from being unless, was given the power.
None but the top ranking officials know that they are all part of the same super robot.
Claw doesn’t even know that the suggestion that he made was taken to heart, thinks Gadget is the superbot that he feared when he left his post in disgust.

I think there is a lot you could do with a concept like that. To bad they will never let me write it.

12:25 AM

Sorry about the lack of updates Tuesday. I ended up being at school all day Tuesday and Wednesday and didn’t really have that much time to write up any reviews.

But, its Thursday and that means...comic book reviews.

I don’t plan on doing a review of everything coming out just general recommendations and things I am seeing in comics.

New X-Men- “Here comes Tomorrow”

Grant Morrison continues to write on of the definitive runs on X-Men since Clarmonts take on the mutant super team became the house model for how the X-Men should be written.
He has done little more than make old concepts that most people felt were played out, Sentinels, Shiar Royal Guard, Magneto, Jean as the Phoniex and now Days of the Future Past and made them interesting again. Basically, this arch is set 150 years in the future where the enimes of the X-Men are the heros and one of the most trusted X-Men turns into a mad despot. This is a soild issue and Morrison’s run of X-Men is all available in trade (I particaully liked Riot at Xaviers). The whole run is designed to read as a giant self contained X-Men story and you don’t have to know a ton about X-Men to get it.
Which is a good thing. And with the rumors of Joss Whedon taking over writing New in the near future, this title can only continue to impress.

JSA, Hawkman, Black Regin.
This little crossover is going to be interesting. Mirroring what W is doing in the world with a comic book. It’s the proactive apporach to superheroics verus the tradition put out the fires method.
Great characterization so far.

Ulimate Xmen, New Muants 2
Get this book. It’s a great stand alone X-Men story.

1602- Great read, but reads much better if read in one sitting. They really should have released this as one giant graphic novel instead to the monthly format.

Hmm, looking back on this, I think I should change this into something else. More of a recomindations Like “why you should read Starman” or something.

Yeah, I hate this but I am posting it anyway.

Monday, January 12, 2004

5:52 PM

Its Moonday so it means it update day.

I re-started my formal education today. Meaning that I actually came back from Holiday Break.
I am just a little bit closer to my degree now. Soon I will be able to lord over all with my BA in the English Language. Which, to anyone that reads this site would be completely meaningless. I lack the abiltity to catch my own grammar and spelling errors on the first couple of read overs. This is going to be short because I have a side project I need to start working on and the school work is better if I don’t let it build up to much.
I fucking hate how movies are made in this country.
I am not talking about your Big Fishes or the weird little movies coming out.
Hell, even flicks like Pirates of the Caribean had a soul, Johnny Depps soul, mostly, but still a soul. But I hate films and properties that sell themselves out to get butts in the seats.
Like Jim Davis’s Garfield.
First off, I used to love Garfield. Big fat cat that eats lasgana and hates Mondays, for lack of being a cat THATS ME.
But after the glory that was the cartoon and animated specials, the magic that was once brought to everyone’s paper during the week in black and white and Sundays in full color, was gone.
Used up on to many Garfield lunch boxes and stupid ass posters. Unlike the Simpsons, all the specialness that was apart of Garfield left it, it starting being the Family Circus. There just because it always has been, no one says anything about how unfunny it is, except the rare movie, but its like when your Grandmother gives you a present that is ten years and a dozen sizes to small for you. You smile, nod, accept what you’ve been given and move on.
Reasons why Garfield sucks?

They made him not as fat.

He is a fat cat, a lazy cat, and they put him on a diet if you look at the early strips and compare them to now. But he is cuter, which sells more junk.

They made him less mean.

He doesn’t rape Odie as much as he used to, fewer kicks to the bum of the stupid puppy. A mean cat, does not sell junk.

Jim Davis, the creator, is nothing more than a name on a rubbber stamp now. They are recycling the same old tricks again and again and calling them new.

Also, the new movie seems to be a blatant rip off of Scooby Doo, which wasnt all that great to begin with.
They are appealing to the same group, with the same jokes. But Garfield doing things and having an adventure defeats the purpose of being Garfield.
He does not have adventures, nor does he dance around shaking his fat ass.
Sometimes he sends Nermal to Abu Doby, and thats all he ever does.
Garfield is going to be the Kangaroo Jack of this movie season, if the trailer is any indication.
Kangaroo Jack being the rip off movie for Snow Dogs, the movie that made bank because people thought the dogs talked the whole movie, they didnt.
And people got mad.
They wanted their animals to talk, for the whole flick not just a dream sequence.
So they made Scooby Doo that caused the sequel and Garfield.
We are a nation of fools, truly if this movie makes a large amount of money.
And then Bush will get reelected. Thats a lot Garfield.

my thoughts and rants