Friday, April 02, 2004
Well, I just wanted to say that Hellboy the Movie was fantastically awesome, all of you should go see it, and that Jeph Jacques answered my questions for real here :
Check it out.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
I have a special update for today, an interview with my friend Jeph Jacques, runner of the webcomic Questionable Content. As agreed upon before he even looked at the questions, here a cut and paste link to his site: www.questionablecontent.net
Questionable Content recently hit the 100 strip high mark and I decided it was time for an interview. And despite the harshness of his tone in answering these simple questions, I am putting them up just like he sent them to me and letting it speak for itself.
Why the name Questionable Content?
Jeph- What? Out of all the questions you could possibly have started this interview with, you just HAD to pick the most fucktarded, useless one you could think of. Christ, HOW much am I being paid to talk to you again? WHERE'S THE GODDAMN INTERN WITH MY BOURBON? Fuck you, next question.
When you came up with the idea of QC, what made you go on with it, and make it into a regularly updating comic strip when there are already so many of the out there? Was it intimidating?
Jeph- Hell no it wasn't intimidating. QC is the only worthwhile thing ever done in the history of the Internet. I think the Internet is run by a bunch of commie pinko liberal lesbian faggots who couldn't tell the dick in their ass from a hole in the ground. Fuck you, next question.
How far do you have the story of QC mapped out in your head? All the way to the end or just a storyline or two ahead of the readers?
Jeph- "Mapped out"? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I write each comic in a heroin-induced coma while hooked up to a respirator operated by a Chinaman on a bicycle. Fuck you, next question.
Your artistic style has changed somewhat from the original strips, was this change something hard for you to do or was it the natural evolution of you as an artist?
Jeph- Are you insulting my artwork? THE GREATEST THING EVER PRODUCED IN DIGITAL FORMAT IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND??? Fuck you in the ass with a spear, next question.
What are your thoughts on having banner ads on webcomics? Do you feel that it somehow interferes with the creative process, self censoring to prevent pissing off your sponsors or is it merely a good way to make extra money?
Jeph- I think "banner ads" and "webcomics" are perfect for each other, because they are both equally fucking horrible and useless. They go together like retardos and employment at McDonalds! Fuck you, next question and WHERE IS MY GODDAMN BOURBON INTERN I SWEAR I'LL CUT THE LITTLE WHORE'S FEET OFF
Who is the ideal reader of QC?
Jeph- Dick Cheney. I've never met him, but he seems like an honest American. Fuck you, next question, Bush in 2004.
QC is getting to be extremely popular, to what do you credit this popularity?
Jeph- I credit it to the amazing number of people in the world who will swallow any amount of bullshit if it keeps them from thinking about raping the family pets. Fuck you, next question.
What would be your advice to other web cartoonists to mirror your success?
Jeph- If you draw a webcomic, ask yourself this question: "Why am I continuing to be alive?" Fuck you, next question.
Do you ever feel that you will eventually move from webcomic to actual comic in a newspaper?
Jeph- Newspapers and all other media are secretly controlled by a Zionist cabal of Neo-Nazi satanist commie faggot pinko lesbian immigrants. Fuck you, next question.
What do you feel of popular newspaper comics such as Family Circus?
Jeph- Family Circus is the sort of thing the world needs more of. I'll bet Dick Cheney enjoys the family circus. Did I mention he seems like a good clean American? Fuck you, next question.
What is the hardest thing about writing and drawing the strip?
Jeph- The hardest thing is dealing with drooling retard liberal hicks who want to interview me for their stupid masturbatory "web logs". Fuck you, next question.
Why did you decide to sell tee-shirts as your first merchandise?
Jeph- To make money off of gullible people. Fuck you, next question.
So, when are Marten and Faye going to hook up?
Jeph- Marten has malignant dick cancer. Fuck you, next question.
What do you say to people that compare your character Pintsize with Invader Zim's Gir?
Jeph-Jhonen Vasquez is a faggot. I NEVER GOT MY BOURBON YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL BURN YOUR TRAILER DOWN YOU FUCKING BLAHGLUAGHULEHDSLUGHSUALDHADLUGHLUHL*@^L*^%R@&)QL&:R [no carrier]
After reading this, you might not want to read Questionable Content, until you happen to look at what day it is. If you got this far, and are an long time reader of Lou Sucks you know I do this every year on this date. Its April Fools Day kids.
Many thanks to Jeph, who is fantastically awesome to agree to this little stunt and you should thank him by becoming a regular QC reader, I am and look what its done for me.
This was inspired by this little piece of journalism and egoism at its finest: http://www.theonionavclub.com/feature/
Dave Sim is a bit of an asshole right there.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
Post Spring Break Aftermath
I have just conciliated the last time I will have the party time that is Spring Break. Sure, I have this week out of school as well, thanks to some strange twist of fate but it will be mostly used for home work catching upyness. There is a full Spring Break wrap up on the way, including an open letter declaring my undying love for Sarah Vowel, but thats for a time when I don’t have to much on my brain that needs to get out. Many things have been happening in the world since I last updated, some are out and out scary as all hell, but now I will merely sum up what I learned on my last Spring Break and try to share it with the general public.
- Never ever go shopping with more than one woman. They will insist on going to every single surf shop on the strip, even though they all have the exact same inventory of sexually suggestive tee shirts. Hour after hour that could be spent on the beach or just collecting your thoughts will be wasted looking at the same Grab her Bootie and Pinch tee-shirt that you saw 12 shops and three miles ago
- When people have balconies and full glass windows, they don’t realize that changing in front of those windows allows you to see them. They must assume that glass realizes that you are naked to half naked at the time and frosts itself accordingly. But now let me say to the woman in the white under things and towel around her head, I am very sorry that you didn’t realize I , and the rest of the beach, could see you. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I saw all that much.
- The Daytona Beach P.D. does not like being made the laughing stock of the nation thanks to the Girls Gone Wild videos, and have cracked down on unrulely behavior accordingly. Public intoxication is something they feel is a bad thing and public nudity, past a swim suit, is not something to be encouraged. Even though most of the free world things that nudity is pretty damn awesome, they will leave no boob free of covering, and drunken frat guys will just have to stay in their hotel rooms and not pee on the sidewalk. To this end, I was not flashed ,even once, in my whole time in Daytona, and for that, I weep.
-Guys assume that all women are willing to flash them if they have either beads or a car horn. Even when they do not show them what the mammary fairy gave them the frat guys continue to honk their horns, to a point of being very desperate. Heres a fast fact, if you don’t get to see the boobs after one car horn honk, doing it again and again will only make the twins less likely to appear. Perhaps, if you really want to see upper mommy parts, you should just invite a girl to dinner and a movie, be nice and considerate, engage in conversation, set up a meaningful relationship, and maybe, just maybe you will get to a point that your relationship has evolved into something that nudity factors into the equation. Then , and only then, will you seeing nudity will means something more than “she was drunk, I was drunk, we showed each other what the stork saw”
- Sometimes the maids that service your room are amoung the most beutiful women in the world, and not the one you want to answer the door with all the hair on your head standing up.
- Never eat at a clean Waffle House, they are something that requires the service to be fantastic to make up for the poor decor of the resturant. When the place looks good, and the food is good, never ever trust the service to be anything but worst than getting served your last meal by the family of the person you killed.
-Raw Osters taste like slimeness. And have sand on them. This makes you want to vomit a little in your mouth and choke it back down.
- You never can see to many half naked ladies. They are all equally interesting.
- Walking along the beach with a camera is not as good an idea as it sounds in your head, sure you get pictures of the beach and beach goers, but you also have to worry about it getting wet with ever wave, and thats not cool.
- People from New York that have been transplanted to the Florida are some of the coolest people in the world.
- Bikers are interesting people, they walk to beach like they are ploting to take it over. And they are far more interesting than the stupid Frat Boy Idiots tm.
Well like I said, the update for reals is forth coming, later.